Post by lust on Dec 24, 2004 10:11:55 GMT -5
Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus
1. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office
2. One big black belt - accessorized for life!
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job requirement.
4. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty 'Ho! Ho! Ho!', would remind everyone who's boss.
5. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled...that is when you giggled...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. No more trips to the vending machine...you'd just snack on milk and cookies all day long.
9. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap.
10. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door
11. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing.
12. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not pout.
= = = = = In Jail = = = = =
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping??
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
= = = = = Twas The Night Before?= = = =
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
They'd been worn all week and needed the air.
1. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office
2. One big black belt - accessorized for life!
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job requirement.
4. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty 'Ho! Ho! Ho!', would remind everyone who's boss.
5. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled...that is when you giggled...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. No more trips to the vending machine...you'd just snack on milk and cookies all day long.
9. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap.
10. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door
11. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing.
12. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not pout.
= = = = = In Jail = = = = =
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping??
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
= = = = = Twas The Night Before?= = = =
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
They'd been worn all week and needed the air.